Memories
by Icewind505
Summary: Alfred is gone. And it's all his fault.


**Memories**

**~o0o~**

Arthur looked down at the floor, unshed tears stung at the back of his eyes. His breath was ragged and shallow. His daily Earl Grey tea sat on the table in front of him. Not a single drop was missing from the still steaming cup. How long had it been since the accident? How long since Alfred had decided to take off? Leave this world for good... How long?

Arthur could no longer remember, nor did he want to. But nations are unfortunately not normal people. No matter how much he wanted to forget, he couldn't completely forget the incident. The other countries would never come over to try and console him. He could never forget. He kept telling himself that it was all Yao's fault, or it was all Ivan's fault, or that Francis was to blame. He blamed everyone excluding himself. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head that kept telling him to get his head out of the clouds. To stop dreaming. It was his fault and he knew it.

**~o0o~**

_It was the Fourth of July and Arthur was wishing that he could just disappear. Alfred had invited him to the celebration at his house and he desperately wanted to stay at home. But Arthur didn't want to disappoint the cheery American. Still, Arthur dread every single moment of the plane ride there._

_The plane touched down and the passengers were starting to file out of the plane. Arthur was taking a painstakingly long time to get out and hoped that Alfred wasn't waiting for him. But he knew that that just wasn't the American's style._

_As soon as he got his luggage and was preparing to head out he saw a large sign that appeared to be glowing. It was huge, at least twenty feet in width and ten in height. It had large neon letters spelling out "Arthur Kirkland". The Brit saw Alfred standing in front of it and waving his arms and yelling._

"_YO! IGGY! I'M OVER HERE MAN! CAN YOU SEE ME!? THIS SIGN IS SO FRIKIN AWESOME! YOU LOVE IT DON'T YOU!?"_

_Arthur face palmed and proceeded to walk towards Alfred. He set his suitcases down in front of the American and scowled._

"_You bloody idiot. Are you trying to call the attention of every single bloody person in this airport?"_

_Al scratched the back of his head and blinked._

"_Well, yeah. That was my first plan… But I guess now that you say it like that…"_

_Arthur sighed._

"_Nevermind, you git. Let's go already."_

* * *

_When they arrived at Alfred's house, it was loud and bright. Many voices rang from inside it and Alfred's smile grew even more. He walked in with Arthur and everyone turned their attention towards the two and Alfred pumped his fist in the air._

"_Iggy is in the HOUSE! Let's get this party started!"_

* * *

_It had been at least six hours or so and Arthur was sitting out on the balcony while everyone was having fun inside. The day hadn't gone as well as he had hoped, and he had some pretty low standards for the Fourth of July anyhow. He counted off on his fingers everything that had gone wrong since he came. Number one, there was a banana peel on the floor (nobody knew where it came from) and he had slipped and smashed his face into a large layered cake. Number two, Francis hadn't been watching where he was going and had knocked into him, causing him to spill his red wine all over the front of his tuxedo. Number three, some bloody idiot had thought it was a good idea to put plastic wrap on the toilet._

_He shuddered at the last thought and looked ahead at the starry sky. This day was turning out worse than he had thought._

_He heard footsteps from behind him and looked behind him curiously. It was Alfred, he was hiding something behind his back but at the moment, the Brit couldn't care less._

_He turned his attention away and looked back at the sky. Alfred stood next to him and looked in the same general direction before sighing and smiling down at the Brit._

"_Hey, Artie?"_

_Arthur's heart skipped a beat for some unknown reason. Alfred never called him anything besides, Britain, England, or Iggy._

"_Hmm?"_

"_I… I wanted to tell you something…"_

_Arthur sighed and scowled slightly, he wasn't exactly in the mood for a jittery America. But he would listen nonetheless. At least for a while._

"_A-Arthur… I-I just wanted to say…"_

_Arthur's patience was wearing thin and he looked at the American who was turning slightly pink and frowned._

"_Well!? What is it?! Spit it out! Or are you afraid? You didn't seem afraid when you decided to become independent!"_

_Alfred was looking at him with wide eyes._

"_Arthur. Let me ex-"_

"_No!"_

_The Brit had finally snapped._

"_No! I am tired of hearing you speak! Let me have a say for once! I've been hurting all these years but I kept my feelings locked up because I didn't want to seem like a whiny little brat! But you! You have to have a bloody party every bloody year to remind us all that you're independent! You don't think about how I would be affected by this! You don't care whether or not I hurt! Do you!? I… I HATE YOU!"_

_Alfred's eyes were as wide as dinner plates and the thing he had been hiding behind him fell to the floor. It was a bouquet made of the United Kingdom's national flowers. _

_Arthur spied the bouquet out of the corner of his eye and his angry expression fell from his face. There were thistles, roses and shamrocks, even a couple daffodils here and there. His breath caught in his throat and he looked at the distraught country in front of him._

"_Alfred…"_

_Alfred forced a smile and sighed sadly. He picked up the bouquet and set it in front of Arthur._

"_I'm sorry. I never considered how you would feel. Here, you can keep the flowers."_

_Alfred left the balcony, leaving a shell shocked Arthur behind him. The Brit sighed and picked up the bouquet, he studied it before he found a small note attached to the side. He opened it, it read._

_**Hey Artie~**_

_**I can call you that right? Anyways, I know that you might still be mad at me but if it means anything, I'm still sorry. I really love you. A lot. It's a bit embarrassing but I wanted to ask you if you would go out with me.**_

_**A Hero, Now And Forever**_

_**Alfred**_

_Arthur gripped the note tightly and cursed at himself for being such an idiot and losing his temper when he did. He ran out of the balcony and down the hallway to the living room. He turned to Antonio and asked where Alfred went. The Spaniard simply pointed to the door, but before the gesture was even complete, Arthur was already outside. He looked around frantically and saw Arthur walking across the street with his hands in his pockets. He was slumped forwards and looked extremely upset._

"_Al!"_

_Alfred looked up to see the Brit, he smiled but there was a hint of sadness to it._

"_Did you come out here to get away from the party? I wouldn't blame you. It was totally my worst work BY FAR."_

_Arthur felt a stab of pain in his heart and was about to speak when he heard the sound of a car coming down the street. He turned his head around and saw a van speeding down the road and his eyes widened._

"_Alfred! Look out!"_

_But before the surprised American could turn his head the car had made impact. There was a sickening crunching noise and Alfred flew backwards, landing in a heap on the sidewalk._

_Arthur's eyes widened at the scene and he rushed over to Al. He kneeled next to him and shook his shoulder gently, earning a moan of pain from Alfred. Texas was still precariously perched on his nose and he made a groaning sound before he grasped Arthur's hand._

"_Hey dude?"_

"_Yes Alfred?"_

"_Make sure that everyone remembers how awesome of a hero I was…"_

"_No."_

"_What?"_

_Arthur felt his throat tighten._

"_No, because… I won't have to remind them if you are there to make them remember, you git."_

_Alfred smiled weakly and chuckled sadly._

"_Dude... That's not… funny…"_

_Alfred's grip loosened and his hand started to slip from Arthur's. The Brit grabbed onto his hand desperately and tears began to pool at the corners of his eyes._

"_You bloody wanker! Wake up! Wake up and tell me this was all a sick joke! Wake up! It isn't funny anymore!"_

_But Alfred did not stir, he let out one last breath and smiled._

**~o0o~**

Arthur felt fat tears roll down his face and splash onto the carpet underneath him. This was all his fault. Alfred was dead. He was gone. If only he hadn't said those things to the country when he did.

Arthur wished he could leave just like Alfred.

He wanted to leave and join the former country.

Alfred's laughter and happy nature floated around in his thoughts, taunting him.

Gripping the side of his head the British man started to sob uncontrollably.

He wished he could get rid of the memories.


End file.
